I have always been a thinker and planner. I try to make sure my plans reach the action phase but sometimes you can't do everything on your own. Right now I have two plans in the works: obtain this PhD and travel the world. Currently the PhD is in the action phase, so traveling often takes a backseat. But that doesn't mean I can't work on the plan!
I know I have said it before, but my brief immersion into the Dominican Republic culture was a life changer. My soul yearns to be out in the world, but I don't think my body would appreciate being in the world with no sustenance. This is where my brilliant mind comes in. I am in a constant state of brainstorming ideas to create a business opportunity that I can take abroad. Health, beauty, and nutrition as it pertains to women is the theme I can't pull myself away from. These are the 3 topics that I believe are the foundation of empowering women. When you look good (in your eyes), you feel good (in your skin). And when you feel good (in your body), you look good (&radiate to the world). It's a positive feedback system. And positive outlooks attract positive things. I would like to spread this message to the world and change the view of beauty and self, one woman at a time.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Monday, November 21, 2011
THAT'S What Jesus Would Do!
Lately I have been in an emotional battle dealing with decisions and consequences. I had been chastising myself for going in circles over someone who didn't deserve any space in my head or heart. And yet he did. I couldn't understand why I was tormenting myself to make things right and clear the air. I had been praying for answers and patience to wait for them and today it became so very clear. I was seeking peace because peace is a gift that should be shared with those around us. Mark 5:9 tells us that "blessed is the peacemaker", meaning we will be rewarded for intentionally bring peace to our relationships. However it is not easy because peacemakers are those who turn the other cheek (v.39), go the extra mile (v.41), and love their enemies while praying for those who persecute them (v.44). Applying this to my circumstance, he may be comfortable with the distance and disdain that he created and harbors, however he will be stuck there. He will not grow from it. I, on the other hand, will be greatly rewarded for choosing to promote peace during his persecution. That's what Jesus would do!
But it doesn't end there. My lesson was not intended to motivate me to press and press and press my peace on someone who doesn't want to accept it. The offer is there, and there it will remain until he decides he is ready to grow. The true lesson in this shakedown was God allowing stormy circumstances to shake loose the things I have been refusing to release, similar to a mighty wind that brings down the dead limbs from a tree. Now that the mess is no longer attached, I can clean it up and get rid of it. Again, That's what Jesus would do!
But it doesn't end there. My lesson was not intended to motivate me to press and press and press my peace on someone who doesn't want to accept it. The offer is there, and there it will remain until he decides he is ready to grow. The true lesson in this shakedown was God allowing stormy circumstances to shake loose the things I have been refusing to release, similar to a mighty wind that brings down the dead limbs from a tree. Now that the mess is no longer attached, I can clean it up and get rid of it. Again, That's what Jesus would do!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
No More Tears
The Y chromosome is very interesting. There are alot of nuts and bolts on that extra leg of the X that men are missing. So, ladies, stop wondering why men act the way they do. Especially when it comes to feelings and love. When men start to get that itch of care for someone, alarms start going off and they flee the building. BUT there is no need for tears, gals! They'll be back. However, please note that when they come back, they will act nonchalant, like they don't care. This is their defense mechanism when they feel vulnerable. Here is what you should and should not do:
Do NOT wait by the phone for him to call and answer on the first ring.
Do NOT jump at the first opportunity to go out with him.
Do NOT be easily available.
DO keep yourself busy.
DO act like you have better plans when he calls to hang out (especially with another guy).
DO go out (and possibly be seen) with other ppl and have a great time.
I guarantee he WILL call back. He WILL find/make time to spend with you. He WILL be upset that he is not first in your world. And he WILL make sure to not act that stupid ever again. In his mind, when you are readily available to him, everything's whatever. But when you are available to anyone you want, this is unacceptable because he doesn't want to lose you to someone else. Backwards, I know. . .lots of nuts and bolts missing.
Encouraging words to hold back those tears and erase those fears:
"If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your "price tag". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's YOU who tells people what you're worth by what you accept and expect. Get off the "clearance rack" and get behind the glass case where all the "valuables" are kept. Bottom line: VALUE yourself more and others will too."
"A real man never hurts a woman (intentionally, let's be realistic). Be very careful when you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. NOT from his feet to be walked on. NOT from his head to be superior. But from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved."
I ran across these quotes on Facebook. I am not taking credit for them.
Do NOT wait by the phone for him to call and answer on the first ring.
Do NOT jump at the first opportunity to go out with him.
Do NOT be easily available.
DO keep yourself busy.
DO act like you have better plans when he calls to hang out (especially with another guy).
DO go out (and possibly be seen) with other ppl and have a great time.
I guarantee he WILL call back. He WILL find/make time to spend with you. He WILL be upset that he is not first in your world. And he WILL make sure to not act that stupid ever again. In his mind, when you are readily available to him, everything's whatever. But when you are available to anyone you want, this is unacceptable because he doesn't want to lose you to someone else. Backwards, I know. . .lots of nuts and bolts missing.
Encouraging words to hold back those tears and erase those fears:
"If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your "price tag". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's YOU who tells people what you're worth by what you accept and expect. Get off the "clearance rack" and get behind the glass case where all the "valuables" are kept. Bottom line: VALUE yourself more and others will too."
"A real man never hurts a woman (intentionally, let's be realistic). Be very careful when you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. NOT from his feet to be walked on. NOT from his head to be superior. But from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved."
I ran across these quotes on Facebook. I am not taking credit for them.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Return of the Joker
I have been told all my life that I have 2 levels: really high and really low. When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic. When things go wrong, I panic. To the naked eye, this makes me seem like a lot to handle and, when it comes to relationships, I am overlooked because of this. However, what they fail to see is the benefits of the extremes. When I give, I give my absolute all, to my very last. When I love, it is a love you will never forget. When we fight, it's only because something went wrong and I am passionate about making things right. I give my full attention, support, and dedication to making or helping your dreams come true. I am selfless almost to the point of destruction.
Now I'm no fool. I don't just give away this kind of treatment. If you are lucky enough to be offered the benefits of my affection, you're the fool for walking away. But don't worry. I'm not phased by you turning me down. You'll be back.
Friday, June 17, 2011
x + y = z
Why can't relationships be that simple? Have enough "givens" to be able to solve the equation. . .If I am the X, just knowing who the Y is would make things simple as pie. All I would have to do is figure out the inbetweens to get the equation to balance out.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Down for the count
So I just found out that another one bites the dust. He had a gf, yet he made it clear that he wanted me (in addition to her); however, I acted appropriately because I am not a homewrecker. But it was blown to a whole different level when I discovered that she LIVED with him. . .SMDH
(Side note: what makes a guy think that I will ever date him if he comes after me while he is in a relationship???)
It seems that people tend to blame me for the bad experiences I have had while in Winston Salem. I refuse to take the blame for the ruthless behavior of these guys; however, at what point do I take responsibility? Maybe I have made myself too easy and accessible. (I don't necessarily challenge the motives of their approach because, apparently, it is a huge step for him to approach me.) Maybe I get too comfortable after the initial contact turns into decent conversation. (What can I say? I'm a homebody at heart!) Maybe I just think too simply sometimes. (When the words leave my lips, it's simple conversation. By the time those same words reach his ears, it's a cry for a lover???)
I think I should just go back to my roots: being super unattainable. Absorb myself in school and lab. Turn down every guy. If he is too cute to pass up, then he can talk to me/text me every now and then, but turn down all invitations for a date. If he is persistent and refuses to take no for an answer, well. . .I'll cross that bridge if/when I come to it.
(Side note: isn't it funny that as soon as I declare this out loud, all the men in Winston Salem want to pop out the woodwork and speak to me? Time to practice all the polite ways to say no!)
(Side note: what makes a guy think that I will ever date him if he comes after me while he is in a relationship???)
It seems that people tend to blame me for the bad experiences I have had while in Winston Salem. I refuse to take the blame for the ruthless behavior of these guys; however, at what point do I take responsibility? Maybe I have made myself too easy and accessible. (I don't necessarily challenge the motives of their approach because, apparently, it is a huge step for him to approach me.) Maybe I get too comfortable after the initial contact turns into decent conversation. (What can I say? I'm a homebody at heart!) Maybe I just think too simply sometimes. (When the words leave my lips, it's simple conversation. By the time those same words reach his ears, it's a cry for a lover???)
I think I should just go back to my roots: being super unattainable. Absorb myself in school and lab. Turn down every guy. If he is too cute to pass up, then he can talk to me/text me every now and then, but turn down all invitations for a date. If he is persistent and refuses to take no for an answer, well. . .I'll cross that bridge if/when I come to it.
(Side note: isn't it funny that as soon as I declare this out loud, all the men in Winston Salem want to pop out the woodwork and speak to me? Time to practice all the polite ways to say no!)
Monday, May 30, 2011
Man Hunt Called Off
The experiences that I have had with the male species while in NC has been enough to start a drama television series. . .and I haven't even been here a full year yet! Some of my friends think I am "reaching" for a man. Does accepting offers to meet new people in a new place really qualify as "reaching"? I didn't think so. I am just tired of having a sole friend to do everything with. . .we don't want to exhaust each other! We need to enlarge our circle. . .at least take on a third musketeer. But our search for one has come up empty thus far and the odds of us finding one look pretty sad. This weekend alone has made me think that life as a hermit would be time well spent.
Let's start with Friday. I accepted an invitation to a dinner/movie date. I didn't know a dinner/movie date could turn out so awful! Here is the itemized deduction list of the evening:
1. I arrived and he wasn't ready.
2. A turn of events led me to have to pay for myself.
3. I was expected to be around smoke despite knowing my distaste for it.
4. A gun was brought into the picture. . .and apparently was coming with us to the movies (for 'protection' not coercion!)
5. My dog sitter called and I had to cancel plans (btw, I waited 2 hours for these plans to even get rolling).
6. After all of this, HE felt that dating just wasn't worth it. . .???
The recurring question is "Where do I find these guys?" I would like to propose and amendment to that question: "Why do these guys find me??"
On to Saturday. I went out to visit my cousin who is a professional athlete (minor league baseball -- Go Mudcats!! LoL). I was excited to see him as well as try to catch me a baller LoL. Unfortunately, most of his teammates are married/have kids. Oh well. The night was still young and we had plans to go to downtown Raleigh. My cousin, a true gentleman, paid for everything that night: food, drinks, club cover, more drinks. No questions asked. He even said the golden words: "What are you bringing money for? You know you don't need to bring that!" I had a great time except for one thing: He's my cousin. I have been here for almost a complete year and have yet to experience this with a NC man. I don't believe they exist here.
On to Sunday. As I sat alone with my dogs thinking about my experiences, I came to a dismal realization: I just might be single for a very long time. I saw my life flash like this:
1. I spend 4+ years in NC working on my PhD and find no man in the meantime to fulfill my expectations of a man.
2. I get my PhD well before I am 30! Yay! Downside: dating gets 10 times worse because I now have a title and I am not even 30.
3. I better start getting used to the idea of being a single mother. Bigger downside: dating is now obsolete for a good 15 or so years.
4. I turn 50 and I am single.
It's not my dream in life to be single forever. However, life can still be wonderful even if it turns out this way. Plenty of marriages don't last. The upside: I didn't have to go through a terrible marriage followed by a nasty divorce to end up at the same place many other people will!
Let's start with Friday. I accepted an invitation to a dinner/movie date. I didn't know a dinner/movie date could turn out so awful! Here is the itemized deduction list of the evening:
1. I arrived and he wasn't ready.
2. A turn of events led me to have to pay for myself.
3. I was expected to be around smoke despite knowing my distaste for it.
4. A gun was brought into the picture. . .and apparently was coming with us to the movies (for 'protection' not coercion!)
5. My dog sitter called and I had to cancel plans (btw, I waited 2 hours for these plans to even get rolling).
6. After all of this, HE felt that dating just wasn't worth it. . .???
The recurring question is "Where do I find these guys?" I would like to propose and amendment to that question: "Why do these guys find me??"
On to Saturday. I went out to visit my cousin who is a professional athlete (minor league baseball -- Go Mudcats!! LoL). I was excited to see him as well as try to catch me a baller LoL. Unfortunately, most of his teammates are married/have kids. Oh well. The night was still young and we had plans to go to downtown Raleigh. My cousin, a true gentleman, paid for everything that night: food, drinks, club cover, more drinks. No questions asked. He even said the golden words: "What are you bringing money for? You know you don't need to bring that!" I had a great time except for one thing: He's my cousin. I have been here for almost a complete year and have yet to experience this with a NC man. I don't believe they exist here.
On to Sunday. As I sat alone with my dogs thinking about my experiences, I came to a dismal realization: I just might be single for a very long time. I saw my life flash like this:
1. I spend 4+ years in NC working on my PhD and find no man in the meantime to fulfill my expectations of a man.
2. I get my PhD well before I am 30! Yay! Downside: dating gets 10 times worse because I now have a title and I am not even 30.
3. I better start getting used to the idea of being a single mother. Bigger downside: dating is now obsolete for a good 15 or so years.
4. I turn 50 and I am single.
It's not my dream in life to be single forever. However, life can still be wonderful even if it turns out this way. Plenty of marriages don't last. The upside: I didn't have to go through a terrible marriage followed by a nasty divorce to end up at the same place many other people will!
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