Be Good To Yourself

Lately I have been working on so many different things: projects for 2 school organizations I am actively involved with, on top of lab experiments, on top of my business planning. Not to mention the basic chores of living on my own: cooking, cleaning, laundry, 2 dogs, exercising. I find it difficult to find time to get everything done. As a matter of fact, I DON’T get everything done. It takes something like 2 weeks to touch on all of these things. I basically picked up speed overnight now that the school year has begun, and my body is having a tantrum. I have had 2 nightmares in the past week and slept through alarms twice. But I can honestly say I love my life.

My secret is: *drumroll please* I am good to myself. What does that mean? It means I make sure to reward myself and allow myself to breathe. I take time to relax myself, do things by myself, take mini vacations . . .etc. Recently I celebrated my 24^th birthday in Atlanta. I went knowing a single person and came back with many new friends. I love that human connection. It is very refreshing and reinvigorating. Also, just yesterday, I went to a Jazz and Blues festival. It was so relaxing to be around happy people and music that feeds the soul.

To counter the latest body tantrums, I am taking a mini vacation home to see my closest family and friends. Can’t wait!

I. AM. HAPPY.

I came to a revelation today: a relationship would detract from my happiness. I am so happy doing what I want, when I want (translation= when I am able). It’s so easy for me to just pick up and go. I try new things, meet new people, visit new places, relish in the new sights, sounds, flavors, and smells that I probably could not appreciate otherwise, being distracted by another body, voice, thought, or concern that is not my own. Sure it would be nice to have a travel buddy, someone to make sleeping in unfamiliar places more comfortable, someone to share in the moments where regular life turns into a scene straight out of a Will Ferrell comedy. But how many moments would I miss out on because two schedules now have to become one, two people now have to agree on things, two people now have to explain why they do or don’t want to do something together? In the event that *he* wouldn’t want to come with me, I would have to consider *his* feelings if I decided to do it anyway (minus happy points). And if I do decide to go on my own, I would have that nagging thought of “*he’s* not here with me” (minus more happy points).

If a special man comes along and fits into my puzzle, I certainly won’t turn him away! But he must be AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, and INCREDIBLE to make me feel like he can replace some of my happy with his happy. But I have faith that he exists and I will meet him somewhere in the world. . .who knows, I may have already met him! (I have many friends *insider*)

Until then, I am in a relationship with Adventure.

Look Good <~~~~> Feel Good

I have always been a thinker and planner. I try to make sure my plans reach the action phase but sometimes you can't do everything on your own. Right now I have two plans in the works: obtain this PhD and travel the world. Currently the PhD is in the action phase, so traveling often takes a backseat. But that doesn't mean I can't work on the plan!

I know I have said it before, but my brief immersion into the Dominican Republic culture was a life changer. My soul yearns to be out in the world, but I don't think my body would appreciate being in the world with no sustenance. This is where my brilliant mind comes in. I am in a constant state of brainstorming ideas to create a business opportunity that I can take abroad. Health, beauty, and nutrition as it pertains to women is the theme I can't pull myself away from. These are the 3 topics that I believe are the foundation of empowering women. When you look good (in your eyes), you feel good (in your skin). And when you feel good (in your body), you look good (&radiate to the world). It's a positive feedback system. And positive outlooks attract positive things. I would like to spread this message to the world and change the view of beauty and self, one woman at a time.

THAT'S What Jesus Would Do!

Lately I have been in an emotional battle dealing with decisions and consequences. I had been chastising myself for going in circles over someone who didn't deserve any space in my head or heart. And yet he did. I couldn't understand why I was tormenting myself to make things right and clear the air. I had been praying for answers and patience to wait for them and today it became so very clear. I was seeking peace because peace is a gift that should be shared with those around us. Mark 5:9 tells us that "blessed is the peacemaker", meaning we will be rewarded for intentionally bring peace to our relationships. However it is not easy because peacemakers are those who turn the other cheek (v.39), go the extra mile (v.41), and love their enemies while praying for those who persecute them (v.44). Applying this to my circumstance, he may be comfortable with the distance and disdain that he created and harbors, however he will be stuck there. He will not grow from it. I, on the other hand, will be greatly rewarded for choosing to promote peace during his persecution. That's what Jesus would do!

But it doesn't end there. My lesson was not intended to motivate me to press and press and press my peace on someone who doesn't want to accept it. The offer is there, and there it will remain until he decides he is ready to grow. The true lesson in this shakedown was God allowing stormy circumstances to shake loose the things I have been refusing to release, similar to a mighty wind that brings down the dead limbs from a tree. Now that the mess is no longer attached, I can clean it up and get rid of it. Again, That's what Jesus would do!

No More Tears

The Y chromosome is very interesting. There are alot of nuts and bolts on that extra leg of the X that men are missing. So, ladies, stop wondering why men act the way they do. Especially when it comes to feelings and love. When men start to get that itch of care for someone, alarms start going off and they flee the building. BUT there is no need for tears, gals! They'll be back. However, please note that when they come back, they will act nonchalant, like they don't care. This is their defense mechanism when they feel vulnerable. Here is what you should and should not do:

Do NOT wait by the phone for him to call and answer on the first ring.
Do NOT jump at the first opportunity to go out with him.
Do NOT be easily available.
DO keep yourself busy.
DO act like you have better plans when he calls to hang out (especially with another guy).
DO go out (and possibly be seen) with other ppl and have a great time.

I guarantee he WILL call back. He WILL find/make time to spend with you. He WILL be upset that he is not first in your world. And he WILL make sure to not act that stupid ever again. In his mind, when you are readily available to him, everything's whatever. But when you are available to anyone you want, this is unacceptable because he doesn't want to lose you to someone else. Backwards, I know. . .lots of nuts and bolts missing.

Encouraging words to hold back those tears and erase those fears:
"If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your "price tag". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's YOU who tells people what you're worth by what you accept and expect. Get off the "clearance rack" and get behind the glass case where all the "valuables" are kept. Bottom line: VALUE yourself more and others will too."

"A real man never hurts a woman (intentionally, let's be realistic). Be very careful when you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. NOT from his feet to be walked on. NOT from his head to be superior. But from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected. And next to the heart to be loved."

I ran across these quotes on Facebook. I am not taking credit for them.

Return of the Joker

I have been told all my life that I have 2 levels: really high and really low. When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic. When things go wrong, I panic. To the naked eye, this makes me seem like a lot to handle and, when it comes to relationships, I am overlooked because of this. However, what they fail to see is the benefits of the extremes. When I give, I give my absolute all, to my very last. When I love, it is a love you will never forget. When we fight, it's only because something went wrong and I am passionate about making things right. I give my full attention, support, and dedication to making or helping your dreams come true. I am selfless almost to the point of destruction.

Now I'm no fool. I don't just give away this kind of treatment. If you are lucky enough to be offered the benefits of my affection, you're the fool for walking away. But don't worry. I'm not phased by you turning me down. You'll be back.

x + y = z

Why can't relationships be that simple? Have enough "givens" to be able to solve the equation. . .If I am the X, just knowing who the Y is would make things simple as pie. All I would have to do is figure out the inbetweens to get the equation to balance out.